I like the way that Paul Dini, in his new series Gotham City Sirens, clearly expresses a profound knowledge of the characters by depicting precisely what they would do if they suddenly came upon some wealth. Poison Ivy gave away her $30 million all to charitable donations promoting the preservation of plants and wildlife. Harley almost immediately splurged her share of Hush's money on frivolous toys, clothes and internet schemes. And you would expect both of those characters to do exactly those things.
What about other characters in the comic book universes? Sure, for some $30 million would only make a marginal difference, but for others it would be a life-changing acquisition. Some villains might use the money to get out of the villain business altogether. Others might spend it on new technology with which they could finally thwart their respective superheroes. And others still might use it entirely for luxury.
So my question to the readers is: What would the following comic book villains do if they suddenly received $30 million? What should they do if their intent was to capture a superhero?
1) The Joker
2) Magneto
3) Catwoman
4) Bullseye
5) Two-Face
6) Bizarro
7) Any other villain you can think of.
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24 comments:
I feel like whatever Joker would do would depend on his mood, whether that be playful or psychotic. And with the current storyline in the Batman universe, I feel that the 30 million would be used to test the waters with this new Batman, to see if he is the real one, or someone else behind the cowl. From there, I feel that most of the money would be spent on just wreaking havoc on Gotham in ways specific ways to see who is behind the mask and what makes him hurt.
If Jason Todd were to receive the money, I could see him trying to set himself up as the next Bruce Wayne, but with a more cut-throat mentality. I could only see his persona getting more and more ruthless with the more power he gains.
The sinister Robot Beekeeper: More robot bees!
Someone has to buy my robot bees.
Oh, the massive drug-fueled party that Mirror Master would throw. It would be legendary.
Hopefully, Wally West would have better luck with a huge windfall a second time around. Things didn't go that well when he won the lottery. But, he's older now and has Linda. He wouldn't have to worry about a job.
Bizarro would break into a bank and deposit the money.
Bart Allen would get it all in ones and then count them all and count them again and then probably give it all away.
Clark would donate it anonymously.
Kyle would buy a refrigerator with a lock.
Heat Wave would probably buy up a whole neighborhood and then burn it down.
Bizarro would do the almost opposite of what Superman would do. Superman would give the money to worthy charities, so Bizarro would keep the $30 million and steal an additional $30 million from unworthy charities.
Magneto would either try to buy a island sanctuary for Mutants or pay an army to go conquer an island in order to make a sanctuary for super villians
Blob uses the 30 million to buy tacos and cake.
Deathstroke - 16% of it would go into an interest bearing IRA; Another 24% would go into other various investments - mutual funds, stocks (he seems to like Wayne Industries and Dayton Enterprises, but stays away from LexCorp and Sivanna Inc.), and some municiple bonds (say what you want about Gotham City, they always pay back their bond issues!). 15% goes towards ammunition, weapons, and super soldier serum. 35% is set aside to pay taxes; Deathstroke ALWAYS pays his taxes (he's kind of funny that way). The last 10% is put in a suitcase and stowed away in a secret location, just in case.
Penguin - Biggest money pit in the world is operating your own restaurant. He ends up blowing through it in short order.
I think we have the answer for the Joker: he'd burn it.
I think Two-Face will undergo plastic surgery!!! which will restore his mental stability.
Lex Luther will buy government bonds and will help the economy so to be elected as mayor of DC!!! ;)
Bullseye would probably get 300,000 $100 bills and proceed to use each bill in a new and exciting manner to kill someone (hopefully he would be stopped before he depopulated the U.S.)
The Joker - i agree with Anonymous that the joker's use of the 30 mil would depend on his mood. what he should do if his intent is to catch a superhero: develop aerosolized kryptonite and begin spraying down Metropolis from a zeppelin, since everyone's expecting him to go after Batman.
Magneto - i believe he'd invest/save a good chunk of the money so he has funding for later schemes, and then use 10-15 million to start a pro-mutant PR campaign to counter all the human-supremacy movements. what he should do to catch a superhero: stockpile a century's worth of cigars and whiskey, invite Wolverine over. It's not technically capture, but i doubt Wolvie'd go anywhere for a while.
Two-Face - after several coin-tosses to make up his minds, he'd put half into opening a private law office as a defense attorney for Gotham's costumed criminals, and put the other half into supplying gotham's underworld with drugs, guns, and other things that will irritate Batman
7) the US Government, which has appeared as a villain in the Warren Ellis miniseries Black Summer, would throw half at failing financial institutions and the other half would go towards some pentagon project so secret that instead of providing a redacted description they just hand over a blank piece of paper, a paint roller, and some black ink with instructions to "fill in the blank."
What would Catwoman do with 30 million dollars? I think she would probably spend it on clothes, luxuries, maybe even on a cruise to the Caribbeans - I don't think she would support charity, altough it is needed in these days. And for the most important part: she wouldn't give up stealing, this is her lifestyle and her passion.
Magneto would probably buy a metal mask, invest in some technology to make it appear as if the mask contained a tiny super-concentrated star, pay for a trip to a remote Buddhist temple, train/learn with monks, ingratiate himself with the New X-men, purchase magnetically-controllable nano-bots to "heal" Professor X, and then, once everyone's trust has been gained, reveal himself as the master of evil and deceit THEREBY RUINING ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS EVER.
-t
Yes. I'm still bitter. Can someone please ret-con Xorn back into existence? Flashback of Magneto stuffing the real Xorn in a closet right before the reveal? So it all wasn't just a lie?! Please?
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