Monday, September 21, 2009

Foreign Hero of the Day: Captain Canuck

According to this article, Canada is the world's number 1 destination for foreign spies:

Led by the Chinese but including intelligence officers from at least 20 nations including allies [...], the infiltrators are stealing an estimated $20 billion to $30 billion annually worth of cutting-edge research in products and technologies, other scientific, business and military know-how and political secrets.

You know who this is a job for? Captain Canuck, that's who!

reprinted from joeshusterawards.wordpress.com

Captain Canuck, or Tom Evans, was a secret agent working for the Canadian International Security Agency (coincidentally in charge of counter-terrorism and intelligence), until he gained superpowers from some aliens. He then fought for justice in Canada in a fictional universe where it had become the most powerful country in the world and a haven for villainy.

Sure we all know Superman and we all care about Captain America, but not enough love is given to our boys fighting the good fight abroad. I say we take a minute to appreciate Captain Canuck's hard work rooting out terrorism and protecting all of Canada's national secrets. If only he were alive today to stop this threat...

Incidentally, I wonder what secrets Canada has to keep such that it's become such a nexus for foreign spies. Is it really, as the article claims, that it's just easy? Man, those spies are desperate. Even the comic had to invent a fictional Canada for it to make sense.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well,
clearly you have not been informed.
but Canada had a time when it was ahead in many technical aspects.

for example, the Arrow.
there are other technical advances attributed to the Canadians.

but we would never expect a stupid US citizen to remember them, most of them cannot recite the correct number of states after counting the stars on the flag.

SevenDollarPen said...

Apparently, Canada also boasts a robust whine country outside To-wahhh-nto.

But really, thanks for the arrow.

Anonymous said...

I thought you were on vacation for a week? This is a spy, posting spy updates! (TF2 reference)

doktorholocaust said...

is Captain Canuck raiding Guardian's wardrobe? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guardian_(Marvel_Comics)

Let's not forget - in the Marvel universe, Canada is a good source of mutants. Wolverine is from Canada, and Alpha Flight was put together to bring him back after he left to join the X-men in the US.

ShadowBanker said...

Anonymous2 - What? Me a spy? The Shadowbanker?

No, seriously, I meant that I was on vacation for most of last week. I'm back now.

doktor- Common misconception. The Guardian was actually one of the foreign spies and stoke Canuck's costume.

And yes, there is certainly plenty to steal from Canada, including the secrets of adamantium mutants.

JRH said...

Meh, we know that the real reason that spies go to Canada is so that they can plant electronic surveillance equipment on all the geese that fly south to the States. The geese cross the border with impunity, and then, while pooping on the White House lawn, unwittingly gather information for the bad guys. The (human) spies, meanwhile, remain safely outside of American jurisdiction.

synergic said...

I bet, the greatest secret Canada have to protect its existence....Producer of nothing and yet surviving, economic turmoil...

Michael T said...

In addition to the items mentioned, Canada (especially Vancouver) is a major gateway for US entry and technology transfer. (Also drug smuggling but that's a different story.)

My favourite bit of pop culture in the Canada-stakes has to be from the fabulous 1969 movie "The President's Analyst," starring James Coburn in the title role. On the run from not only the US secret agencies but most of the world (his head is full of secrets disclosed during psychoanalysis sessions, you see) he is finally captured by one group. They freely admit that they are Canadian and "with what's in your head we will change the balance of power on this continent." As they prepare to inject him with babble juice he just looks non-plussed and mutters again and again, "Canadian spies? You're kidding me. CANADIAN spies?"

ShadowBanker said...

Ah, Canada jokes.

Michael -- How come he didn't just mind wipe himself in the style of Iron Man?

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